August 05, 2003
August 05, 2003
*Well today was suposed to be a good day because I was going to hang out with my wonderful boifriend after school... But then he had to cut weeds and then by the time he got ready my mother told me that I couldnt go out. So you know what he did? He went out without me!! Yupp thats right... He went to the middle school without me! And the fact that he went out doesnt bother me.. The fact that he is 3 freaking minutes away from me (WALKING DISTANCE) does!! I mean its soo not fair! :( I barely everr see him except in the morning and thats only sometimes! And then on top of that I cant do anything on the weekend because I have to go to my gay Dads house... God I am so afraid that I am going to lose him... And thats the last thing that I want to happen because I really like him alot and dont want anything, specially school, to come in between us! I guess some things just happen though... I keep having nightmares that he is going to break up with me for some skanky girl or just dump me for the hell of it. I know thats probably not going to happen, but still it bothers me. I mean, there are so many girls out there that are prettier and nicer than me! Why would he want to stay with me when there are so many other better choices out there... Ugh whats wrong with me... Maybe Im just being paranoid. I dont know... All I know is that it bugs the hell out of me that I cant hardly see him. Most people think that I dont want to see him but I really do... I tried making plans with him for tomorrow but he has to go skating (I should have known). It seems like that is the only thing he does any more... He never wants to do anything with me really... I mean I try to do things with him, it just seems like he is more interested in other things. Like... Skateboarding. And I can completely understand that... But when he tells me that he loves his skateboard more than me... Yeah thats what he told me the other day.. It made me feel like shit too. I mean seriously... Thats basically like saying that I cant even compare to a freaking skateboard... Some girlfriend. Ughhh I have just got way too much on my mind right now... I need to sit down and think... Actually writting all of it down helps alot. Maybe I will just keep writting.
*I guess the main thing that really bothers me is the fact that I cant see him. I mean, when it was Summer we saw each other so much it kind of made me sick... Now I dont even see him at all and barely talk to him on the phone cause we are always busy doing homework or his mom is working his ass off. That bugs me too... Brady does absolutely everything around his house and his Mom doesnt even really care... God it makes me want to say something... But I know that would be completely out of line and would never say anything like that to an adult. It just bugs me that his mother makes him do all of that work and then doesnt thank him or anything... How disrespectable. Ugghh maybe I need to stop typing... This could go on forever... I will write more now.. Maybe I can get off of here and talk to the man that I love and adore before I have to go to bed.... More Laters
Posted at 07:52 pm by Elyse
July 31, 2003
June 31, 2003
*Whew its been a long day already and its only 1pm! Well when you have been up since 6am... Lol. Ugh I dont know how I am going to make it when we go back to school... I think that we should have a nap time or something. Hopefully I will have a sleeping class...
*My brother starts going to the middle school and hes all excited. I gave him a tour of the building and he seemed pretty positive that he knew where he was going so thats good.
*Ha I am listening to the radio right now and guess what... Ben cheated on J Lo! Lol who would have thought... Thats sad that the public knows about the incident before J Lo does lol. I mean seriously, do these people have stalkers or something?
*We got orientation tonight... It should be cool. At least this way I wont be AS lost lol. All I have to say for myself is God help me lol. My grandma already scared the sh*t outta me by telling me that everyone gets lost so it really dosent matter. At that point in time I just wanted to crawl under the table and never come back out. Im not really worried about highschool honestly... The whole getting lost thing is my only fear. Other than that it should be a sh*t load of fun. Speaking of fun... Amys here! I will write more laters and let you know how orientation goes...
Posted at 12:37 pm by Elyse